Orientation & Mobility - these are words you hear a lot about when you are finally diagnosed as blind. I thought they meant walking - getting out & about with a cane.
I was wrong.
Recently I read something that stated "I no longer use my eyes to see but to generally orient myself"..... this article went on to talk about how the writer started to "act blind" after his diagnosis. A close friend asked him if he was just doing that for emphasis in his adjustment to life with a cane.
I could relate! I have felt like I am behaving differently and I'm trying not to "act blind".
The writer said "No, I'm orienting myself through my other senses. That takes more time than relying on your sight."
Wow. That was great to read. It really came back to me yesterday when I was in the chiropractors office. I've had some back trouble & moving my head is out of the question. I was orienting myself through smell, memory, and sensory feel (you know the tunnel feeling you get in some hallways?). I thought at the time I must look 'blinder' because I was being slow trying to take in all the information. It made me think of the first time I was there when I just barrelled forward trying to follow the doctor to the room and hoping I wouldn't stumble on something.
I now think back, it's been 10-15 years that I've felt like I was always moving too fast in public. I would get lost in big public buildings like hospitals because I couldn't register all the information I needed as I followed someone somewhere. I couldn't ORIENT myself along the way because I couldn't really see much or trust what I saw. It's been 8 years that I've been asking for directions in buildings "a right after the green door, then a left after the elevator & then the 3rd door on the left"..... I'd often get -- "follow the signs" and I'd just go over it again. Not truly comprehending that I couldn't read the signs easily. I know that sounds odd. But this is not something I really embraced.
I was raised to act normal, sighted. As that became more difficult I adapted & just ignored it. I am surprised that more people around me didn't pick up on these things. I guess I really didn't have someone in my life that was that close to me. I did, but nobody wanted to see this.
I am NORMAL, there is nothing WRONG with who I am or how I manage. I still do more than many & yearn to be even more involved in life, activities, my community.
I act BLINDER... I am BLIND. Yes, I can see, some, but it's not like you & that's okay. I will get faster at Orienting myself in these new ways & I will get more confident & I will adjust to those new first impressions.
That's a whole new post.... Blind First Impressions.....
